The wind blew through James' short hair as he sat on the edge of the pier overlooking his precious lake. The wind was rather strong and the collar of his coat kept slapping at the side of his face as if trying to wake him from his trance. It wasn't working. James just sat there, blank, lifeless look upon his face. The wind picked up and James recoiled from the cold into his coat. The waves were leaping up towards his feet but were always cut short and unable to grasp his legs. Thoughts were crashing around his mind in much the same way as the waves below him.

He thought of a few people that had been on his mind lately and thought of things they'd said. A sequence of events passed by his vision over and over again... in a constant loop. He was in the zoo of the mind, he could see everything, but he was afraid to get to close for he knew he would be in range of claws, teeth, talons and any number of other painful looking appendages. So he sat there, and only looked on, never intervening.

The wind gave a relentless blast and the lake got its grace and grabbed onto James' leg but his leg slipped from its grasp and it fell back to its blackness.
"Shit", James shouted and jumped to his feet. A sour look took over his face as he tried to shake as much of the water as he could off his pant leg. With his trip to the lake toughly ruined James thrust his hands spitefully into his coat pockets and walked along the waterfront. It was darker than usually because of looming cloud cover. You wouldn't think night could get any darker, but it did.

Beyond a patch of light from a street lamp ahead, he saw a figure leading over the guardrails and looking out at James' lake. James was rather confused, there were always people in the park during the day but he had never seen anyone anywhere near here at the times he went to think. It was far too late and everyone would be asleep, James could think by himself. He felt sort of violated to have to share his night with some stranger. He kept an eye on the figure as he passed it by but couldn't make out any facial features so he grumbled lightly and walked past the figure.

"G'devening, James." the figure spoke without moving an inch from its bent position. James whipped around and stared at the figure with fearful eyes. The figure... it knew his name but the voice sounded strangely familiar. "It's not polite to stare you know," The figure slowly stood up and turned towards the awestruck James. "oi. James... 'ello?". The voice suddenly connected with a face, which connected with a past, witch connected with memories.

"Jack." James said quickly. Jack, you could say, was James' "worse half". Fate had kept them in each others lives for quite some time, so they had no real choice but to talk amongst each other. James didn't much care for talking to Jack but when no one else will listen, you really don't have a choice.

"What are you doing here?" James asked.
"Prully th'same thing your dooin' 'ere" Jack replied in his thick English accent.
"Thinking? You?"
"Y'think 'ere? Christ, lad! Your 'ere e'ery night almost!" Jack's voice was getting louder.
"C'mon, quite down. It's late, you know."
"Bah ha ha! oo'r we gonna wake? The fishies?" He leaned over and looked right into the water. "WAKE UP CALL! bah ha ha!"
"Hrm... You wanna get a coffee?" James regressed.
"Sure! I could go for a little sump'in right 'bout now."

They walked away from the water towards the street and crossed into a small coffee house they both often frequented, sometimes alone, sometimes together. When there were a lot of people by the lake, James used the coffee shop as a refuge, he sat in the corner, by himself and pretended he was invisable. It often worked. When he went there with Jack, it was mostly filled with conversation about the things he only talked about to the lake.

They got their respective drinks and sat down at the table next to James' regular lonely table. "S'what'r you doin' out there s'late?" Jack asked, pretending to care.
"I go to the lake to be alone and think... well, I THOUGHT I was alone." James replied.
"Surry t'intude on yeh, Whus on yer mind, lad?"
James said nothing, he just sighed.
"Whus'at? I din't 'ear yuh! Speak up!"
"I didn't say anything."
"C'mon, lad. Yuh c'n tell yur ol' friend Jack wussamatta?" Jack leaned forward trying to get whatever was on James' mind out in the open. "Yur not thinkin' uh 'er again are yeh?"
James was silent.
"Yur always thinkin' uh the past arn't yah?", Jack teased.
"You know i always have. But there are other things you know."
"What o're things?"
"Other things on my mind." James said in between sips of his coffee.
"Ah ha ha. Yur not goin' anywhere, lad." Jack said in his cynical tone.
"I know. but things still linger in my mind."
"Shitty! Look't the time! I wurk in two hours! Thas the last time I fullow you out at night." Jack quickly got up from his seat and began to down his coffee as fast as possible. "Well, I'ma gonna be wurkin' on no sleep t'day lesee 'ow they like that'un, eh?"
"Jack, they hate you at your job, if you show up on no sleep, you're going to fall asleep at work and be fired." James added.
"Y'knowhut? yer right. I just won't go in!" Jack said with a grin. "So I'ma off t'bed. I wunna finish this talk later, right?"
"Sure thing, G'night Jack", James really didn't want to finish the talk, but he also didn't want it to last any longer, so he went along with it.
"Y'take care'a yurself ulright?"
"You got it."

Jack left the coffee shop while sloppily putting on his coat while holding a danish in his mouth. He walked off and disappeared beyond the wall of the restaurant. James sat there silently and finished his coffee in peace.


The air and the ground were slightly damn from the rainfall that had crippled James' plans (and mood) earlier that day and James was headed away from the lake this time. This walk was strictly business. He decided he get a new job, preferably something a little closer to his future plans. Accompanied by his music, James walked slowly down the uncrowded streets towards a small plaza of stores that lay at the north end of his street.

He reaches up to brush some hair away and caught the smell of his gloves as they passed by. Like a crash of lightning memories flowed back again. The smell lingered on his coat as well, but not as strong. The smell was reminiscent of the events of the previous day. He thought of yesterday and all that had happened previous to that, it saddened him slightly, but as Jack said: "Y'cant keep liv'n in the past, boy!". He had to let go now. That doesn't mean he wants to forget, he must keep that time in mind so he could remember what he must strive for.

Like a swift blow to the head, James was thrust back to consciousness by a blaring car horn. He stopped and looked around in a daze and noticed he was standing in the center of a "T" intersection and was nearly creamed by a small white car. He blinked and looked around quickly trying to regain his bearings. Before he was back to reality, he bolted for the sidewalk as to alleviate anymore tension between himself and traffic. The lake was a far safer place to get lost in thought.


James was busy scrawling images onto a once white piece of paper. He often did this while he sat alone in the coffee shop; he had a small collection of images he had created. Non-sencical to anyone else's eyes. Meaningful to James'.

"Whutcha got 'ere lad?", Jack came seemingly out of nowhere and snatched the paper from under James' pen. He examined the page and turned it to different angles before bursting into laughter. "Bwahaha! Nice doggie ye drew 'ere!" Jack said in a mocking tone and sat down across from James.
"Hrm..." James mumbled and grabbed the paper from Jack's hands and stuffed it into his pocket making a low crumpling sound.
"Not muchuvan artist are'ya?", Jack said as he took a sip of his coffee.
"I'm not here to please you, it's purely recreational" James said spitefully.
"Whoa der lad. Calm yurself! Whut wus 't anyways?"
"... ... ... what did you THINK it was?"
"I t'ink t'was a failed genetic 'sparement! Bwahaha!"
James had no reply.
"Whut was t'is 'Yur time 'as come. Yur chance's none'?"
"What about it", James inquired. He was getting more and more annoyed with Jack.
"Whussit mean! 're yuh daft?"
"Not everything NEEDS a meaning", James turned way and looked longingly at his lake.
"'oo pissed in yur cheerios 'is mornin'?!"
James stared silently at the lake. Jack leaned over the table and grabbed James' chin and turned his face towards his own and spoke in a soft whisper...
"Yur done for, lad. S'all ova."
Jack grabbed his coffee from the table and with the same motion dropped a paper folded into quadrants onto the table and he walked out into the darkness.

The paper sat there, the second fold flapped in the slight breeze of the Climate control vent above the table. It was waving to James to make sure he saw it. He did. He cautiously reached for it and slowly opened it.


It was the same

James lay awake in bed with his TV on beside him. He watched as the images made his white walls change colour. He noticed an inconsistency. A small black mark on his walls of colour, but it was moving. It was a small black spider sliding stealthily down its thread towards James' unmoving body. He reached up and severed the strand that kept the tiny insect afloat and it hung now from the tip of his index finger. He moved it closer to his eyes and looked at it closely in the light. He was amazed by all the tiny intricacies, parts, shapes and colours. Something so small held such interest to James.

James wasn't the only one interested in the tiny spider. His cat jumped onto the bed with an inquisitive look and an outstretched neck. It gave a slow, non threatening paw swipe. James pulled the spider away from the cat and kept it dangling at a safe range. "I'll protect you", James said to the spinning black spider. And he intended to do it. He took the spider outside to the front stoop where he sat down with the spider still hanging from his hand. The spider spoke no words, but somehow made James feel slightly better. It was like James' loneliness and the spider's loneliness canceled each other out for a short while and it was just a man and an arachnid. All they had was each other. And that's how it really was.

James guided the spider to the wall, near the door and sat on the stoop and though while he watched the spider begin to spin a web for itself. He knew this tiny helpless creature was capable of so much. He smiled as he watched the spider work to build its new world. Because of James' help, this world was free of harm and more productive than any that could have been built inside his room.

After a few hours, James decided he really didn't want to think about things anymore and stood up from his seat, stretched and turned for the door. Before he closed the door behind himself, he turned to the spider and said aloud, "I said I'd protect you... and I mean it.". James returned to his room, turned off the TV and lay quietly in bed.


James sighed and walked toward the water again. he looked to his left and saw the ever expanding lake that he knew all too well. He looked to his right and saw he forested area he had just walked through and the rocks on the shoreline. When he looked forward once again, he noticed she was now standing beside him, looking out upon his lake. He held her close.
"Why did you say that?", he asked in a loud whisper.
"Because, I do.", she replied.
James had no reply to that. They walked off together towards the road, and away from the lake. At the road, they simply went their separate ways. No elaborate goodbyes. She waved and James nodded softly and turned on his music. James had decided to take the road that ran parallel to the lake; he wasn't done with the water yet. He went over what had just happened and words rung in his mind.

Why won't you tell me?
It's not important.

That was just a vague description!

And you wonder why I want to go away...

That won't solve anything

Tell me what's bothering you...
No.
Why not?
It's... not important.


He turned his music up louder to drown out his thoughts. It was a rather appropriate CD for the time. Dozens of cars past by him, but one stopped in the driveway ahead of him.
"Need a lift somewhere", it was someone he'd know for quite some time and they were offering him a quick ride to wherever it was he was going.
James thought to himself, "How can you take a ride when you're going nowhere?".
"Nah, I'm just out for the walk", James (in a way) lied.
"Alright, suit yourself", He said as he switched into reverse and looked behind him, ready to pull out.
"Thanks anyways.", James added, he wasn't sure he had heard him.
James continued walked by the massive houses near the lake and admiring them from afar. Before long, he came to a small clearing along the lakeshore. It wasn't his regular park; it was much smaller and had far fewer people. He looked over the small bridge and saw just what he needed right then... ducks. He looked down and his eyes traced the outer ridge of the small pond, it was obviously man made, but still, if it housed ducks, it was ok with him.

He walked closer to the lake with his hands deep in his pockets. He fiddled with the small twisted stick in his right pocket and it unexpectedly grew rather sharp and pricked his finger. Immediately, James turned this into deep underlying symbol as it his life was merely a story (...) he nodded slightly to himself when he deciphered the symbol.

James looked down at the oversized rocks that had been piled along the shoreline and saw the waves hitting them in an explosion of frothy water and disturbed sediment. He hopped over the largest of the rocks that made a crude railing and sat down on a large flat rock just out of reach of the hands of the lake and thought. He had come to a few revelations. One of which was that this would be his new 'special place' to think. His regular park was too crowded, and perhaps he may be able to avoid Jack here. His other revolution...

James slowly began to slip deeper and deeper into thought with every wave that his the rocks before him until... he was gone.
By some uncharacteristic twist of fate, James had fallen asleep at a decent hour. But this sleep was no escape from his woes. James began a rather vivid dream of his own demise.

He had been walking down a near empty main street; it shone from the rain and the reflections of the streetlamps overhead. It was raining rather heavily and seemed as if it had been for quite some time. The rain beat at James' face as it were some kind of punishment. His clothes were soaked to the extent where one just stops caring about the rain because you cannot possibly get any wetter. He came to and intersection, and like the rest of the roads he'd passed, it was empty, lifeless, devoid of any human activity. He crossed against the light and sudden felt overwhelming dread wash over him, like a sixth sense had suddenly become attune to some looming danger. Not taking this feeling lightly he quickly scanned the surrounding area to see the cause of this sudden flux of apprehension. When he looked to his left, he saw it. Several feet away, just outside the orange glow of the streetlamp two bright headlights shone. But to James, these were no headlights they were the eyes of the demon that had always been silently following him. He didn't see this car upon approaching the intersection, nor did he hear the engine until he noticed it lying there in wait. He somehow knew who this was and it wasn't a major surprise to see it there, almost as if he had expected to meet this "car" here. For all James knew, it was a car, but the way those headlights stared into him was beyond any thing he'd ever known. It revved it's "engine", but the sound it made was like no other. It was like a metallic scream, it cut into his consciousness and made him stumble in his spot. Before James could regain his balance the demon charged. James didn't see it well because his vision was still off from the demon's scream and the heavy rain didn't help matters much. It hit him, hard. James was flipped on his side and hit the creature again. He rolled up the "hood" and fell rather hard upon the back end, rolled again and hit the pavement with the burning spite of the demon. As silently as it had appeared, it was gone. James heard no trail and saw no evidence the beast had even been there. The only reassurance he had was his body that was unable to move. He tried to lift himself up, but he was badly injured. After about a minute of lying there trying to regain himself, James noticed the discoloration in the puddles of water around him. He was bleeding, a lot. The streets were as barren now as they were moments before the beast had shown itself. He could hardly move himself. There was nothing he could do to slow the bleeding. He tried to call for help, but his voice was nothing but bubbling and sputtering. James coughed and spit a mouthful of his own blood onto the pavement in front of him. He stopped for a moment and watched as it mixed with the rain and diluted as it spread. James noticed he was getting weaker now. He lifted his head one last time and looked for anyone, any sign of anything that could serve as his salvation... nothing. With that, James lay his head down in the puddle of rainwater and diluted blood and quietly died.

With a start, James woke up sending his cat into a state of shock as it ran full throttle out the door and down the hall. After an experience like that one would expect their heart to be pounding and to be sitting up in bed, gasping for breath in a cold sweat, but James was rather calm. He was unable to fall asleep again. He rolled over and saw the red lights of the digital alarm clock against the darkness. 5:23 turned to 5:24 as soon as he turned his head. He'd have to get up in an hour regardless so instead of fighting to fall asleep again, James took an early morning stroll to the coffee shop.
James walked in and the bell above the door rung and startled him, it had been so eerily silent the entire walk there. James shielded his eyes when he came in, it was still early and his eyes had yet to adjust to the bite of fluorescent lights.

James sat in his normal seat hunched over his coffee thinking over his dream, how vivid it was. In a twisted sort of way, he enjoyed the whole ordeal. It was like dying, but being able to go back before it happened and not dying and continuing on.

"'mornin' lad!", James heard from the door of the coffee shop. Jack had once again shattered the beautiful silence. James nodded in recognition.
"S'whut'r you doo'n up so early?", Jack pryed.
"Had a bad dream, couldn't sleep...", James said sounding a lot like a child.
"Awwww poor kid! mommy make ya feel all betta?", James said in a mocking tone.
"Fuck off..."
"'arsh words, der lad. C'mon, tell ol' Jack whussamatta", Jack said pulling up a chair, turning it backwards, crossing his arms and resting his chin on the back of the chair.
"You know full well whats the matter", James said trying not to make eye contact.
Jack was silent for a second until he perked up. "ohh, that eh?"
James nodded.
Jack began to chuckle softly to himself.
"What the hell are you laughing at?"
"You! I canna believe yur still lamenting o'er that!", Jack was laughing slightly louder.
James said noting, but looked down into his coffee.
"'avnt yuh learned a goddamned thing? Can't yeh take an 'int?"
"But..."
"But whut? 'But whuttabut whut they say'? Der all fulla shite. Lissena me, I'll tell ya whus real 'round 'ere. 'oo'd possibly know you betta den me?"
James opened his mouth to speak, but nothing. he couldn't say anything in his defence.
"Yuh just like whut dey say 'cause it's prettier, right? Life ain't allays pretty y'know. Sumtimes yoo'll get fucked ova, and there wont be anytin der to e'en out deh score and yur stuck in deh red. Dats when yoo've gotta say to yurself: "Diss's gotta mean sometin". Y'know whutit means? 't means twasn't ment to 'appen so bugger off!"
As hard as he tried against it, Jacks words were sinking in... fast. They were starting to make some twisted kind of sense.
"Well? I've been tahkin' dis 'oll time, whuttaya got tuh say fer yurself?", Jack scolded as he sat up from his hunched position.
James really didn't know what to say for himself, Jacks words made more sense than anything anyone else had been saying, which was terrible. James friends had said such sweet words to him, words that meant so much to him. They were always there for him, they believed in him. But lately, he had been isolated and pushed people away.
"C'mon! ammeye talkin' to a wall 'ere???"
James didn't know id he should denounce Jack or to thank him for his advice. So to avoid making a decision, James silently stood up, nodded a goodbye to Jack and left the cafe with his coffee in hand. and brooding thoughts on his mind.
The beast stared her down. It was more powerful than she could ever hope to conquer. Skin of glossy obsidian that shimmered and mocked the slight slivers of light that penetrated the darkness that surrounded her and housed the demon. It's eyes were a red that was never duplicated anywhere in reality, they left a short glowing trail as they moved through the black void. It spoke in a low raspy tone through it's dripping teeth and sharp tongue. It spoke words of hate, mocking her own words buried deep in her past. It's movements were slow but stealthy unless it WANTED her to know where it had gone. She moved awkwardly away from the voice in the darkness as she tripped and stumbled along the spongy floor, it's consistency, that of cold flesh. There were no walls to provide back cover, no corners to cower in. Only the endless void. Chattering voices and reminiscent sounds filled the air when it wasn't speaking. She fell and continued to scuttle backwards as to keep a safe distance from the beast. No matter where she went, it was there. Waiting for her to turn and look it in the eyes. It would tell her the words she didn't want to hear, but couldn't block the sound. There was no point in running, where would she go? This chase would continue forever. she couldn't win on her own. The beast was in his element and thus had the upper hand. She stopped backing away from it and lay there awaiting the inevitable. The beast's arm rose and she could see it silhouetted against one of the few slivers of light. The arm was unnaturally long and the hand was a twisted mass of bone, claw and ebony skin. Tiny hair like tentacles were like a bracelet around it's wrist. They writhed and whipped at nothing as the hand rose. The beast let out an unholy cry and struck. She braced herself and was ready to take the punishment she had brought upon herself. But, nothing. The sound of tearing skin and spilling blood was there, but no pain. She looked up to see the silhouette of someone vaguely human between her and her curse, clutching it's chest and it's head hung low. The beast was stunned it's attack had missed it's mark and tore through one who had no involvement in the situation. The figure of the man fell to one knee. When it's knee his the ground, it made an audible splash in it's own blood. The beast wouldn't make a sound; the voices that surrounded her were silent. There was no movement, no sound, no time. The beast reared back and screamed, head shaking violently as his voice shook the void it had created. Chains burst out of the back of the beast and wound around him repeatedly. More chains broke it's skin and wrapped around it violently, dripping as they tightened their grip. Eventually, the massive beast fell onto it's back and screamed louder than before, it knew what was coming. It shook violently trying in vain to free itself from the shackles that bound him. Like a bolt of lightning, a pike burst through the "ground" and through the chest of the demon. It let loose the most unearthly of sounds as it arched it's back. The sound eventually faded into a slight gurgle as blood filled it's lungs, it went limp and died. She went to the body of the figure that took her pain upon itself to save her, the face and body were too mangled to make any assumptions of it's identity. His blood eventually leaked from his torn abdomen as liquid light. It spread across the fleshy ground and made it fade away. The light spread across the entire void and she found herself standing alone in the middle of an empty street. Alone.


James sat in a different coffee shop than his normal one by the lake. He promised Desiree they'd have a coffee and a talk sometime soon, it just so happened to have to fall in the middle of some prior engagements. But that wasn't a major problem now; James was in too mellow a mood to complain (a rare occurrence). He leaned back in his chair, hand still holing onto the cardboard "take-out" coffee cup. He could feel the warmth of the coffee through the thin cup. The song on the radio caught his attention; he knew this song all too well. So he closed his eyes and just listened.

You threw your fear in the sea of no cares

He was brought back to reality when Desiree returned, she sat down and they began to talk. Before any serious subject matter could arise, they began joking and giggling.

James didn't see Desiree as just another girl, but as a real friend. They'd known each other for a little while, but were already very close. Desiree was a good kid; she and James had a lot of good times together. James would always give her advice and give her guidance when she was lost. James enjoyed being her "helper" it gave him a slight sense of accomplishment. Desiree helped James on a couple of occasions, when he actually felt like opening up to someone.

After the coffee they left and had a little ways to go to meet up with David. They'd all had planned to have a fun night of doing all the crazy stuff they seem to get into together, but they'd be missing one of their own tonight. All they really had was each other, a close clique.

As they walked, James and Desiree had their talk that had been planned all week. Desiree told him about the guy she had to shoot down and some other things on her mind. James listened and gave his advice as per usual and assured her everything was ok. She had apologized for the way she treated him a couple months ago when they had a fight and weren't talking to each other. James didn't want to do that again, losing Desiree was like losing a close friend. But things were getting better now.

Together they walked into the brightly lit store out of the darkness and saw David off in the distance beyond several displays.

David and James had known each other for as long as they could remember, they pretty much grew up together. James saw David as a sort of protector. James was usually the one with the bad ideas and simply David's influence made him change his mind. He was always a good friend and was always subtle enough for everything to seem natural. James had always admired this quality. He only wished he could help him. It was obvious some things bothered David, but he'd never show it. But James would give anything to help his dear friend.

...

James lay on the couch that was a little too small for him to sleep comfortably on, so he lay awake for a little while. He was probably better off on the floor but hardwood doesn't make for a good sleep. Before sleep overtook James, he thought a little bit good thoughts and bad but fell asleep much too early...

[ Home ]